It’s Ok- I’m a Responsible Drunk Driver

I recently had an assanine conversation with someone who was defending their Drunk Driving.

It went like this:

“I go out, I have a few drinks, and I want to go home.

I get in my car, and drive more carefully than I normally would, because I understand that I have a weapon in my hands.

A weapon that can accidentally kill myself and other people.”

So I asked: “So knowing that you might kill someone, and that the statistics say that driving drunk is as dangerous as owning a loaded gun, do you still drive drunk?”

“So yeah, I drive drunk- but I do it responsibly.”

I of course asked what that means.

“If I kill someone accidentally, then I would go to jail because it would be MY responsibility.”

This person completely disregarded the fact that an innocent person would be DEAD…

“I guess I’m a criminal (since criminals don’t obey laws) but I don’t think drunk driving should be illegal, so I’m more of a patriot.

I have the God-Given RIGHT to drink and drive if I want, and no one will take it away from me.”

I was pretty sure that God has nothing to do with his decision to drink and drive, but he continued:

“I’m willing to take the consequences, even if other people aren’t as responsible as I am when they do it.

I hate the irresponsible drunk drivers- they make the rest of us look bad- idiots.”

So I told him that he sounded like someone who thinks it’s possible to be a “Responsible Drunk Driver”, just like people think it’s possible to be a “responsible Gun owner”, despite that the “irresponsible” ones aren’t found out until it’s too late.

He agreed that they were the same thing, and then gave me an example of an “Irresponsible” drunk driver:

“Last month, a girl I know who wasn’t a responsible drunk driver killed this soccer mom and one of her children, but the other kid in the car was paralyzed from the neck down. You should have seen the father crying through his anger.

He didn’t know what he was going to do. I actually think he was on suicide watch or something while his paralyzed kid was being fed at the hospital.”

I asked “But had she NOT killed those people-  accidentally- then she would have been a ‘responsible’ drunk driver?”

Drunk Driving and guns
It’s Ok, I’m a responsible drunk driver

“Of course”, he said. “The woman is going to jail now, and she should. Stupid, irresponsible woman.”

“But…. it was an ACCIDENT, right” I said.

“She said it was an ‘accident’, but if she had been more responsible when she was driving drunk, then the ‘accident’ wouldn’t have happened. She should have known that the mixture of alcohol and a car is like having a loaded weapon, and you should only use it when you absolutely know what you’re doing.”

“Like that woman who was a responsible gun owner, who had her gun to protect herself from rapists and muggers, but was killed by her own toddler who found her gun and shot her accidentally?”

“Right- it turns out that she wasn’t a responsible gun owner”

“But she was until her baby shot and killed her?”


“So every drunk driver is a responsible one until they kill someone?”

“Yes! Just like having a gun- Being a responsible drunk driver is the EXACT SAME THING as being a responsible Gun owner. You are doing a dangerous thing, and there are accidents, but you have to know that it’s your responsibility- even accidents when someone innocent is killed.”

I suggested that there was no such thing as being a responsible drunk driver, but he said this:

“There are too many people who drink and drive without proper safety precautions the way she did.

For example, my kid once got behind the wheel of my car (just being like Daddy), but I showed him how to drive responsibly, and how to drink from a paper bag when he’s driving, just so that people don’t bother him.”

I said “You mean like owning a gun responsibly?”

“Yes!! There are unjust Open Container laws to avoid, but if you’re a concealed drinker, they can’t really catch you. Just like the open carry laws, or the concealed carry laws”

“But…” I said “The statistics say that drinking and driving increases the chances of death to yourself and other INNOCENT people. That’s why we have laws against it- to protect the INNOCENT people.”

He sad he wanted to get rid of those laws, because the cars and alcohol aren’t to blame- that it’s the irresponsible drunk driver who is to blame. He continued:

“If cars and alcohol killed people, then why are cars such big business, and alcohol big business? They tried to outlaw alcohol, and look how that worked out! What are they going to do next, outlaw CARS?”

I told him that no- cars won’t be illegal, and neither will Alcohol, but that the COMBINATION of the two creates a weapon that can accidentally kill an innocent person, just like having a loaded weapon that can accidentally kill an innocent person no matter how “responsible” the owner is.

Then he kinda opened up the conversation to other people at the bar:

“This is a call out for all of the responsible drinker-drivers to band together to get rid of these laws that are trying to stop us from getting places we want to go in the state of mind we wish to be.

The criminals won’t obey the laws anyway, so it’s up to us responsible drinker-drivers to get rid of those laws, and protect our children from the “Big Brother” of government trying to “protect” us from accidents and irresponsible drunk drivers!”

The people at the bar turned around, gave me a look like “Why are you talking to this idiot?” and continued their conversations.

I left, but as I did, I could hear him say:

“You can take my drink when you can take the steering wheel out of my cold, dead hands!!


Anti-Gun Meme
Responsible Drunk Driver


By the way reader- If you haven;t figured it out yet, this is to show that it is IMPOSSIBLE to be a responsible drunk driver….. and it is equally IMPOSSIBLE to be a “responsible gun owner”. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE.

and if you’d like to know how Guns deaths stack up against Vehicular deaths-



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